Welcome to Funny Marriage Advice!
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl ‘Will you marry me?’ The girl said, ‘NO!’ And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted
That’s our advice. The End. Just Kidding
If you’re irritated by your partner, imagine him as a small child. We know! You totally don’t want to try this! It sounds awful! (And maybe even not that much of a stretch.) But trust us—this is an amazing way to see him from a fresh angle. Here’s what to do: While your partner is puttering around and looking idle, imagine him at age five. Awww. Isn’t he adorable? And so smart! It’s easy to forget how appealing your spouse is when you are looking at him through a prism of all the chores that he has yet to accomplish (fixing the vacuum, booking the lawn service…we could go on). And men, this works on women too. Imagine your little 6 year old starting to boss you around. How cute she is trying to tell you what to do!
We hope you stay awhile and enjoy our website. This site includes blogs, tips, quotes, products, ebooks, & videos, books and much more! No matter if you are single, thinking about getting married or have been married for years, you will get some great laughs from this fun website! I believe that humor is the key to making a relationship work. Humor keeps the significance out of day to day issues. Couples who can play and laugh together, usually end up staying together! Check back weekly for new funny blogs!
Men, Learn how to Stay Out of the Dog House!! Hilarious!
Another great video. Listen to Tim Hawkins sing “The Wife Song”- If you are a man who wants to live a long and happy life, these are the things NOT to say to your wife. This video is hilarious!
Funny Marriage Advice Tips
Marriage Tips for Men and Women
Funny Marriage Advice For Husbands
Funny Marriage Advice For Wives
Funny Marriage Quotes!
“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.” - Anon
“Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” - Joey Adams
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” - Rita Rudner
“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.” - Groucho Marx
“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.” - Billy Connolly
“After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.” - Hemant Joshi
“Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.” - Helen Rowland
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” - Henny Youngman
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” - Raymond Hull
“Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.” - Anon
“Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.” - Evelyn Hendrickson
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.” - Joyce Brothers
“For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.” - Bill Cosby
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” - Erma Bombeck
“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.” - H L Mencken
“Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.” - Anon
“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” - Rita Rudner
“Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give.” - Cass Daley
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” - James Holt McGavran
“Women hope men will change after marriage but they don’t; men hope women won’t change but they do.” - Bettina Arndt
“Marriage is like a game of cards. Starts with two hearts and a diamond and ends with clubs and a spade.” - Anon
“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” - G K Chesterton
“Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.” - Anon
“Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.” - Alan King
“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.” - Max Kauffmann
“Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.” - George Lichtenberg
“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” - Zsa Zsa Gabor
“The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.” - Groucho Marx
“I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.” - Marie Corelli
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” - Henny Youngman
“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” - Socrates
“All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.” - Lord Byron
For funny marriage jokes, click here.
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